When I was in college, one of mentors would always, “Sean, I pray that God would deliver you from yourself…”
What a bizarre prayer! I always felt both affirmed and conflicted whenever she prayed it. I know I at times can be my own worst enemy, but the idea of breaking free of me means that I would potentially become someone completely different. Not too sure I was comfortable with that. At least, with this Sean, I know what to expect. I know what I want, how to get it, and truth is, occasionally I do get what I want.
In recent weeks, however, as friends and family pour into my life and begin to bring Living Water to the arid land that has been my soul for almost a year now, God has been pressing something into my soul: sell everything you have and follow me.
I was taught, trained, discipled (pick the word you want) by my good friends in InterVarsity to beware of covetousness–wanting more and more of what you have enough of already. It’s in the Scriptures, but it isn’t addressed a lot today by Christians, churches, let alone pastors. It’s a slippery slope. Like being in a crowd. It’s repulsive the actions of some, but if you hang around them long enough, bad company always corrupts good character.
I woke up one day and realized one of the reasons I have been so stressed is because I am trying to manage and use all the gadgets I have purchased. So, I made a decision to sell as much as I could. IT HAS BEEN UH-MAZING. Giving these things away (taking money to pay bills and put into savings) has been redemptive and restorative. It’s like scales came off of my eyes and I realized afresh, none of this stuff matters. We really aren’t taking any of it with us. When we die, it goes to someone else who will probably through it away because a better upgrade is available.
As I trade in movies, game consoles, TV’s, gadgets from Apple (some new and some old), it is really amazing that you don’t get back full price for any of this stuff. It literally loses its value the moment it becomes yours, which makes me question if it was really as valuable–and necessary–as the store/manufacturers say that it was.
Oddly enough, it feels good. I am getting excited every time I come home and see something else that hasn’t been turned on in months or years, that has moved from apartment to apartment and yet stayed in the same box. I am making a fresh commitment to not be so attracted/distracted by the newest item or possession that I lose sight of what is most important: guarding my heart and my soul.
This whole journey has reminded me that the only thing valuable and eternal in this life is God. His Kingdom. His pupose and plans. His love for his children.